Appreciating
parents is such a noble deed that brings a lot of benefit to an individual.
These are the only people in the world who would wish your success overtakes theirs,
they will be willing to sacrifice their life to see you grow. Just remember
those days when you were a baby, when a little cry wakes your mother up all
night. Just remember those times, when your parents stood by you when you can
neither walk, speak or eat. Just remember those times, when they buy everything
to make you happy as a baby, a toddler, a child, and should they have the
means, they will continue to do so up to your adulthood. Why then treat them casually,
when they are getting weaker because of age, why should you neglect investing
in their happiness simply because you have come of age. Being a teenager, a
young person is not a license to abandon the responsibility to parents.
As
you strive towards fulfilling this noble goal, always understand that
there is a hierarchy even in the priority you give to the parents. The
sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) are clear about this, because
when he was asked about the person who has the best right, the prophet replied
“your mother”, he was asked again, and he said “your mother”, when asked for
the third time he said “your mother”, and on the last occasion, he said ‘your
father”. This is quite important especially in this age, where some people
erroneously ascribe maltreatment of women with Islam. Perhaps some of our
attitudes towards women do not help, yet if we could imbibe this quality, the
world would have been a better place.
In
his classical work Minhaj Al Muslim, a book that focuses on manners and
the character of a Muslim by Shaykh Abubakar Jabir Aljazairi, (may Allah
prolong his life) who is still alive and has been teaching in the Prophet’s
mosque in Madina for the past 50 years has succinctly compiled a number of
narrations from the authentic Islamic sources about the role of parents in our
lives as reported from Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Interestingly the
book has been translated into many languages.
In
one of the ahadith (sayings of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him), and reported by Bukhari and
Muslim, two of the leading compilers of hadith, the Prophet stated that “Allah
has forbidden for you disobedience to mothers, withholding the right of others
when one has the ability to fulfill them, and burying daughters alive. Allah
also disliked for you irrelevant talk, persistent questioning and wasting of
wealth.”
In
fact one day the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said ‘alaa unabbi ukum bi
akbaril kabaa-ir?” “Shall I not inform you of the greatest of the great sins?”
the companions answered in the affirmative “certainly, O Allah’s messenger.” He
said “al-ishraaku billahi, wa uququl walidayn”, “(they are) ascribing partners
to Allah, and disobeying parents”, and then the prophet sat up and added, “And
false testimony and false witness. Verily false testimony and false witness”.
As
such it is not a small responsibility that perhaps some of us gave casual
attention to. When ibn Mas’ud, a companion of the prophet asked him what is
most beloved to Allah, he said “being dutiful to parents”.
And
being dutiful to parents is a responsibility that should continue even after
their lives, as confirmed by the Prophet (peace be upon him), where he stated
that “from the most dutiful acts is that a man keeps contact with the beloved friends
of his father after the father has passed away”. For more on this see Minhaj Al
Muslim: A book of Manners, Character,
Acts of Worship and other Deeds, (pp. 181-185).
Always
remember that no one has invested in your life more than your parents, and one
way of appreciating their effort is by being dutiful to them. Just imagine the
joy you will create in them by being such a responsible person who lives up to
expectation without a reminder from them.
As
we work towards fulfilling this responsibility, especially in this age where
the attention of the youth is carried away due to the influence technology,
sports etc. parents should strive to help their children to understand such
responsibility, after all, the parents will be the major beneficiaries when their
kids become responsible to them.
So do not just buy them smart phones, but also
encourage them to read smart books that teach them the value of parents,
because smart phones will one day expire or be overtaken by smarter
technologies, but smart investment in the upbringing of your child to understand the value of his
parents shall live forever. I recommend the book loving Our Parents:
Stories of Duties & Obligations by Abdulmalik Mujahid published by
Darussalam for every parent, son and daughter, it is one of the smartest
treasures you will give your children. You will find amazing stories about how
the prayer of parents, changed the lives of their children. You will find
interesting stories about how other people were dutiful to their parents, and
so should you.
5:04
09.05.1435
10.03.2014
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